The Five- Year Hitch: Not Quite a Love Story
Author: Melissa de la Cruz
Daniel di Tomasso
Published: January 7, 2021
Audiobook: 1 hour 10 minutes
Reviewed By: Jessica
Date Listened To: June 15, 2023
Jessica’s Rating: 4 stars
The story of two friends who have known each other all their lives — falling in and out of love. Sam & Miles belong together, except every five years, there’s a hitch and they don’t end up together. Now, as they tell their story to a reporter at a momentous occasion, will they finally break the five-year curse? Can these two friends and lovers find their happily ever after?
This was a super short listen at 1 hour and 10 minutes! And this was made specifically for Audible and even referenced Audible/pod casts a couple of times. It is a couple telling their love story from age 5 to now at age 40, so it spans 35 years. They get together and then fall apart every five years. The two narrators tell the story extremely well and I never lost interest in it. But they did get a little too ‘lovey dovey’ at times for me. They definitely made it seem like they were this couple with their chemistry they had.
But then we have that unexpected ending that just tugs at your heart strings. I can’t say more except to just listen to this one!
33 Unplayed Voicemails
Author: Melissa de la Cruz
Narrator: Full cast narration
Published: August 18, 2022
Audiobook: 2 hours 28 minutes
Reviewed By: Jessica
Date Read: June 5, 2023
Jessica’s Rating: 3 stars
Straitlaced Evelyn and reformed bad boy Marco might make an unlikely pair, but the two lovebirds couldn’t be more head over heels for each other. Sure, they’ve had some missed calls along the way, but all that’s in the past. They’ve got their sights set on forever, and the next stop is a walk down the aisle in front of their friends and family. It’s the big day, and everyone’s gathered to watch Marco and Evelyn say “I do”. Everyone except Evelyn that is. Is the bride running late or running? With happily ever after on the line, the surprising answer might just be in their voicemails—too bad they never listen to them.
This one is strictly available as an audiobook and this short story is just 2.5 hours long, and frustrating the whole time! All I have to say is this: People, listen to your voicemails! You mean to tell me that over the course of their relationship that neither Evelyn or Marco realized this!?!?! It will just get worse not better if they don’t realize this. If so, then just answer your phone! And these two just don’t really seem to know much about each other and decide to get married. The whole thing spells disaster!
The saving grace for this short story was the audio format that it is in. This is the perfect story for audio since it is all about voicemails. We do also get other conversations, but the whole point of this story is the missed messages. I added one star for the format, otherwise this one would have been a 2 star listen. I hate to say it for any book, but this is one to avoid![Top]
Author: Jessica Simpson
Narrator: Jessica Simpson
Published: February 4, 2020
Reviewed By: Jessica
Dates Read: January 1-9, 2021
Jessica’s Rating: 5 stars
Jessica reveals for the first time her inner monologue and most intimate struggles. Guided by the journals she’s kept since age fifteen, and brimming with her unique humor and down-to-earth humanity, Open Book is as inspiring as it is entertaining.
This was supposed to be a very different book. Five years ago, Jessica Simpson was approached to write a motivational guide to living your best life. She walked away from the offer, and nobody understood why. The truth is that she didn’t want to lie.
Jessica couldn’t be authentic with her readers if she wasn’t fully honest with herself first.
Now, America’s Sweetheart, preacher’s daughter, pop phenomenon, reality tv pioneer, and the billion-dollar fashion mogul invites readers on a remarkable journey, examining a life that blessed her with the compassion to help others but also burdened her with an almost crippling need to please. Open Book is Jessica Simpson using her voice, heart, soul, and humor to share things she’s never shared before.
First celebrated for her voice, she became one of the most talked-about women in the world, whether for music and fashion, her relationship struggles, or as a walking blonde joke. But now, instead of being talked about, Jessica is doing the talking. Her book shares the wisdom and inspirations she’s learned and shows the real woman behind all the pop-culture cliché’s — “chicken or fish,” “Daisy Duke,” “football jinx,” “mom jeans,” “sexual napalm…” and more. Open Book is an opportunity to laugh and cry with a close friend, one that will inspire you to live your best, most authentic life, now that she is finally living hers.
First, I must say I am not a fan of Jessica Simpson’s music. I have seen parts of her Newlyweds show with then husband Nick Lachey, and seen the tabloids in the grocery store. What made me decide to listen to her memoir is that we do have some things in common, and more than I originally thought when I started her memoir: We have the same first name and now both have the same legal last name, we were both born the same year (1980, myself in April and her in July) , we both met our husbands the same year (2010), we are both from the south (Georgia for me and Texas for her) and have body issues in regard to our ample bosoms.
I chose to listen to the audiobook version which is narrated by Jessica herself. Listening to her candidness you feel like you know her as the person she is. She is very frank with her dependency issues dealing with pills, alcohol, and men. Now knowing all about her, Jessica feels like a friend you can totally open up with and not be judged.
As she was growing up she was definitely challenged by other famous young singers in her age group who were always seemingly one step ahead of her. Jessica unsuccessfully tried out for the Mickey Mouse Club. I enjoyed hearing about this time in her life because she met some other famous celebrities before they became who they now are.
I had no idea how extremely religious she was and still is. Her faith is a very strong part of her, and she has been tested throughout her life. Imagine as a teenager already with body issues trying to sing to celebrate the Lord, but then be told you can’t wear a particular outfit because of how it makes you look (and the outfits were tame!)
Jessica is open yet not negatively focusing on her relationships with men, from choosing to remain a virgin until she married Nick Lachey, an emotional affair with Johnny Knoxville while filming the Dukes of Hazzard, to the extremely toxic relationship with John Mayer (Douche!), and also her relationship with Tony Romo and current husband Eric Johnson.
This is a memoir that opens your eyes to a particular celebrity and definitely shows the person she is, has become, and what she has accomplished in her life thus far (her fashion line). I feel I know Jessica now and would love to talk and hang out with her. As I was listening to the book that is how it felt: That you were hanging out, catching up, and talking with a long lost friend.
If you are a fan of Simpson’s then this memoir is must read, and even if you are not a fan, like me it is also a memoir you must read. There are also some new songs that are played that came apart of writing this memoir. Jessica honestly and with lots of heart put her story out there for us to learn about who she truly is.
Open Book is recommended.
And Happy First Book Birthday to Jessica and Open Book! It has been one year from when this memoir was first published![Top]