Audiobook Review: This is Me: A Reckoning by Hayden Panettiere
This is Me: A Reckoning
Author: Hayden Panettiere
Narrator: Hayden Panettiere
Published: May 19, 2026
Audiobook: 7 hours 47 minutes
Reviewed By: Jessica
Dates Listened: August 30- September 4, 2026
Book Description:
Hayden Panettiere’s career in entertainment began before she was old enough to walk. From early commercials to film and television roles in hits like Remember the Titans, her career unfolded in the public eye, resulting in tremendous success by her early teens. She had become a fixture of early-2000s pop culture, earning acclaim for performances in Heroes, Nashville (which earned her two Golden Globe nominations), and beyond—while quietly carrying the weight of expectations that came with being Hollywood’s “It girl.”
Behind the image was a far more complicated reality. As Hayden entered adulthood, the industry that once felt playful grew unforgiving as she learned by experience the pressure placed on young performers, the hefty price that often comes with fame, and how quickly someone else can take control of your story. She recounts being scrutinized by tabloids, watching her body and private pain become public property, and performing storylines on-screen that echoed trauma she was living through off-camera.
In this memoir, Hayden shares a rare and intimate glimpse into her life behind closed doors, opening up about postpartum depression, addiction and recovery, trauma, domestic abuse, and loss. She holds nothing back as she reflects on the moments she calls “lifequakes”— experiences that fractured her sense of self and forced her to rebuild it from the inside out. In This Is Me: A Reckoning Hayden showcases her most vulnerable role yet. . .this is her story, on her terms.
Jessica’s Review:
Hayden Panettiere’s life began August 21,1989 and she passed away on August 16, 2026. Just a few days shy of her birthday, Hayden was only 36. This memoir was released on May 19, 2026 and through it Hayden shares with us her life in the way she wants. Hayden shares from her childhood through giving up custody of her daughter. She also shares about her life in between.
From the time she was eight months old, Hayden was involved in show business. While listening to this she never had a chance to have a ‘normal childhood’: A childhood not in the spotlight. I never had children, but who would want to expose their infant to this kind of life? Hearing about her leaving school and then going to work as a young girl was frustrating for me. She grew up in the spotlight dealing with everything the children go though but exposed for the public to see.
Hayden had many battles in her short life: post-partum depression, the unexpected loss of her younger brother, giving up custody of her daughter and addiction. And addiction is how we have ultimately lost her as it has been determined that Hayden overdosed on drugs.
While talking about her life, Hayden also doesn’t give extreme details. She talks about two events when she was 18-19 years old in Hollywood and what happened but does not give names; she only alludes as to who these ‘mystery men’ are. I think that was most likely that if she gave names, then it would have become a ‘he said/ she said’ situation and a possible battle that she did not want to fight. She does speak on her relationship with Mila Ventimiglia while filming Heroes and their significant age difference. The biggest surprise for me was that Hayden came out as bi-sexual with a preference for women. She stated that she knew this from a young age.
We get to hear about her life working on soap operas, Heroes, Nashville, and a couple of the Scream films. We also get to hear about her filming Remember the Titans, which was filmed in Georgia, so I enjoyed hearing about that time in her life. I remember going to see the movie in the theater. We also experience her addictions, her relationship with the father of her daughter Wladimir Klitschko, her postpartum depression, and more.
There was so much more that she could have shared, but so much was glossed over. But again, look at the title of this memoir: Hayden told the story of her life in the way she wanted. I listened to the audiobook and she narrated it. I am choosing to not give this memoir a star rating and just leave my thoughts to it. May she finally rest and have the peace in death that she failed to have in life.
Purchase Links:
Amazon US
Amazon UK
ARC Review: The First Scarlet Door by J.D. Barker
The First Scarlet Door
Series: 4MK Thrillers #4
Author: J.D. Barker
Narrators:
Michael Crouch
Piper Goodeve
To Be Published: TOMORROW, September 22, 2026
Paperback: 400 pages
Audiobook: 10 hours 41 minutes
Reviewed By: Jessica
Dates Read/ Listened To: September 6- 16, 2026
Jessica’s Rating: 4 stars
Book Description:
In the first of three prequels to New York Times bestselling author J.D. Barker’s wildly popular 4MK series…
Before he was known as the Four Monkey Killer, he was just a boy trying to survive.
Charleston, 1999. Fifteen-year-old Anson Bishop didn’t mean to kill—not the first time, anyway. Raised by parents who taught him that murder was simply survival, Anson thought he’d escaped his dark past when his home burned and his mother vanished with stolen mob money.
He was wrong.
Someone is hunting Charleston’s forgotten children—the runaways, the addicts, the ones no one will miss. When the few people Anson has come to care about vanish into the night, he discovers a truth more horrifying than anything his parents taught him: there are monsters in the world far worse than the one he sees in the mirror.
Behind a door the color of spilled blood waits a killer who has perfected his craft over two decades. To save his friends, Anson must walk through that scarlet door and face a monster. But in doing so, he may become something more dangerous than what awaits him on the other side.
Some doors, once opened, can never be closed.
Discover where it all began in the first of three prequels to New York Times bestselling author J.D. Barker’s wildly popular 4MK series.
Jessica’s Review:
J.D. Barker, where do you come up with the ideas for your books?!?!? I am a fan and I always look to see what your books are about when they are announced. I was excited to hear earlier this year that the first in a prequel series was coming out in 2026, and that it looks like we are getting closer to a 4MK television series! Being I complete audiobooks much quicker that physical or e-books I bought all of the original trilogy on audio and planned to listen to them before the prequel was released. And then I was fortunate to receive both an arc and alc of The First Scarlet Door!
If you ever wanted to see the evolution of a child to eventual serial killer, you must read these books! First, read the original trilogy, and then move on to The First Scarlet Door! In the original trilogy we do get some of Anson’s childhood through diary entries, but The First Scarlet Door is Anson’s story as a fifteen-year-old boy in 1999. With everything that Anson has gone through, its no surprise that he eventually becomes 4MK! He never stood a chance to be ‘normal’.
This is a dark, chilling, and horrific novel with what happens to these young children and teenagers. No one should go through everything that they endure, let alone these kids at their age! What is going to ultimately happen with these kids? This series is not for everyone with the graphic nature content involved. If you have even read one of the previous books then you know what you are getting yourself in for.
We are left with a cliffhanger ending and I just wonder how long we will have to wait on the next two novels in the series. And then of course, just what will happen next!?!?
I was excited to receive a package from J.D. Barker and his publisher Hampton Creek Press which consisted of the original trilogy in paperback, and an arc of The First Scarlet Door, some additional information and swag! Then as I started to read Scarlet Door, I saw the audiobook was narrated by Michael Crouch and Piper Goodeve. I was excited when I saw Crouch’s name attached and was overjoyed to be granted an advanced listening copy of the audiobook from RD Media/Recorded Books. Because of this I was able to go between reading and listening to the book! Both Crouch and Goodeve did a fabulous job.
As with the original trilogy, Scarlet Door is composed of short chapters that make putting this continuing story hard to put down! Again, how long do we have to wait for the next two novels?
J.D. Barker, what terrifying world will you take this reader/ listener of yours down next?!?!?!
Thank you again to J.D. Barker and his publishers for all the 4MK goodies I have received!
Pre-Order Links:
Amazon US
Amazon UK
If you have read just one of the books in this series, then you know what may be in this box! Be afraid, be very afraid…
Audiobook Review: The Sixth Wicked Child by J.D. Barker
The Sixth Wicked Child
Series: 4MK #3
Author: J.D. Barker
Narrators:
Edoardo Ballerini
Graham Winton
Published: August 27, 2019
Audiobook: 14 hours 29 minutes
Reviewed By: Jessica
Dates Listened To: August 17-29, 2026
Jessica’s Rating: 4.5 stars
Book Description:
In the riveting conclusion of the 4MK trilogy, NY Times Bestseller Barker takes the thriller to an entirely new level. Don’t miss a single word of the series James Patterson called “ingenious.”
Hear No Evil
For Detective Sam Porter, the words “Father, forgive me” conjure memories long forgotten; a past intentionally buried. For Anson Bishop, these three words connect a childhood to the present as he unleashes a truth concealed for decades.
See No Evil
Found written on cardboard near each body, these words link multiple victims to a single killer—discovered within minutes of each other in both Chicago and South Carolina—clearly connected yet separated by impossible miles.
Speak No Evil
Chicago Metro and the FBI find themselves caught in chaos—a hospital on lockdown, a rogue officer, and corruption at the highest levels. When Anson Bishop, the prime suspect in the notorious 4MK serial murders turns himself in, he reveals a story completely unexpected, one that not only upends the current investigation, but one that will change the lives of all involved.
Do No Evil
With unrelenting tension and pulse-pounding suspense, the past unravels at breakneck speed as the truth behind the Four Monkey Killer’s motive is finally revealed in this masterfully crafted finale.
Jessica’s Review:
The conclusion to the #4MK trilogy! I was excited to finally read this! And I had planned to once I found out that Barker has a prequel trilogy coming out, the first in that series is out on September 22nd! I listened to all three in the trilogy back-to-back and it was one long and crazy adventure! The Anson Bishop/ Sam Porter combination is up there with Hannibal Lecter and Clarice Starling! I have only ever seen those movies, and must put the Silence of the Lambs books on my TBR to read.
At times The Sixth Wicked Child was very long winded and did drag on. There was a lot going on as the whole series has been that way, the direction just really wasn’t working for me. It just seemed like some could have been cut. BUT the final twists redeemed the book for me and I went for 4 stars to 4.5! Although I had some issues the ending was very satisfying for me and this series is definitely worth a read if you enjoy novels about serial killers. Just remember this series does get graphic!
I also enjoyed how all three books in the trilogy were brought together for the conclusion. Another thing to keep in mind with this novel: Do not believe ANYONE! I really was not sure where Barker was heading in this conclusion.
I am so glad we had both Edoardo Ballerini and Graham Winton narrate for the trilogy. Having a different narrator would not have worked for me. Their voices truly are these characters. And with the series coming to film/television soon in the future I cannot wait to see these characters brought to life! I just wonder who will be cast as Bishop and Porter!
Many thanks to JD. Barker and his publisher Hampton Creek Press for sending me paperback copies of this trilogy! I am starting The First Scarlet Door now!
Purchase Links:
Amazon US
Amazon UK